S.....

It was the perfect day and my sayang called to say he's coming back..I was so so so surprised..I mean its only been like 3 months since i last saw him but I missed him so much..I guess "grace period" not over yet..lol..in the phone he didnt quite sound like himself but me as always-being the idiot didnt bother to pay much attention to it..well just cant wait for him to be back and for us to be in each other's arms again..
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So the day came which was on the 9th of August and there I was at the airport with Uncle Joseph, Aunty LiNee(his parents), and Anna(his sister) waiting for my sayang to touch down..everyone seemed to be in a dull/boring/gloomy mood which was kinda annoying at the begining till the moment I saw HIM in the wheelchair..I was like WTF WTF WTF WTF...and in my head it stil didnt register..I was actually asking Aunty LiNee "why is he being such a drama king..he's only down with a cold?? no??". She just smiled..arrrgghhh wat the heck I waited for his parents to greet him as they hugged him tightly when he stood up..then it was my turn, I looked at him and I dunno why all I manage to bark out was a "hi"..like wtf just a "hi"..hahahaha was so funny then he held me close to him n whisper in my ears "I love you baby...I missed you so much"..he then cupped my face and gave me the best kiss that made my whole body go through this warm tinggly feeling..gosh its like so worth the wait..
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On the way back from the airport, his hands were in mine all the time as though silently telling me that he's never gonna let go..although it was only holding hands I felt so safe, so wanted, so loved and somehow in his eyes I could sense something was wrong but then again maybe he's just tired..by the time we finished dinner and got back to his place it was already 9 and as I was about to leave he said "sayang, stay with me tonight..I need you please..." and tears were rolling down his cheeks..that moment right there I knew something was not right..and being such a selfish person I actually thought he was gonna call us off..WTF WTF..so I just went up to him and wiped away his tears and held him close to me that I could feel him breathing down my neck..I asked him what was wrong but he said he just wanted to hug me to sleep and to wake up still having me next to him in his arms..NOTHING happened that night but one way or another I felt something big was gonna happen the next time we wake up..
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ITS ALL OUT IN THE OPEN...Him coming back, the tiredness in his face, the quietness around his house..EVERYTHING..my world just stopped..literally stopped..my head felt so heavy, my legs were turning into jello..gosh how could this have happened? My baby is dignosed with Chronic Acute Lukemia...its not fair..the doctors have got to be wrong..just have to be..what do I do? How do I react to this...I cannot and I mean CANNOT lose him..not now..not just yet..
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11th August 2008- Its his birthday..although I am so torn up inside I know he feels wy worst but at east we're spending the day together..started the day by waking up next to him and watching him sleep peacefully knowing that there's so much pain that he's going through for the past 2 months..a part of me wished I never knew but another part of me feels like crying out loud for not knowing much earlier..

"Hey Baby,
Happy Birthday...I love you so much...may you have a great year ahead for you..thank you for spending YOUR special day with mua'..hehehe if I could I'd take all your pain and make you a much happier person...thanks for making yourself a part of me and making me yours..I Love you baby...many many more returns of the day...hugs and kisses..=)
Love, Sharm"

It was a fun loving day being able to spend time with him and then dinner with his family..he stayed with me the time I needed him most so I'll never let him down..I love him...ALOT
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